On The Road Again...

My schedule looks like this: tomorrow I finish my application to Hong Kong University and Lyndsey arrives from Tianjin. Friday I pack and throw a dinner party and cook food in this apartment for the first time. Saturday morning I go to Hong Kong University for an information session on the program, then Lyndsey and I take the ferry to Macau and fly to Bangkok that night. Sunday morning we take a train to Vientiane, the capital of Laos. Monday morning we take a boat to Luang Prabang. Then we relax and explore. Crazy, yet delightfully awesome if I do say so myself. On the 12th I fly to Manilla and visit Hera's hometown, which she lets me call her home village because I demand that she pretends to be the Peasant Girl© archetype I hoped her to be. I'll then spend nearly two weeks in Palawan, a remote archipelago curving west when the rest of the Philippines wants to curve right. I'll spend most of my time on Coron, the northernmost island.

So this will be my last blog for awhile unless I find internet cafes and means of uploading in the jungles of Laos or island of the Philippines.

Happy Chinese New Year friends, family, and random readers!

Nastrincisity - noun; the art of following a great song on an album with with exactly the wrong one.

"Man, Modest Mouse was perfecting the art of nastrincisity on "This is a Long Drive for Someone with Nothing to Think About."

Beggers

So most of us more giving foreigner types in China are a little bit conflicted the more we learn about the the realities of the situation. There are basically four kinds of beggars in Shenzhen. the first kind are the crippled or otherwise handicapped, the second kind are the elderly, the third kind are nicely dressed students with their heads bowed and a short descriptive reason chalked in front of them explaining why they can't their tuition, and the fourth involves children. I've made a rule not to pay children. Typically they'll be performing some kind of [often dangerous] circus act in the street and they're also the most pestilent. They'll come to you inside an open-air restaurant to collect for you merely observing their act.

The elderly and the students get most of my attention. There's an elderly woman camped out on the bridge I use to cross the street to my bus stop. She never really asks for anything, she just sits there all day looking half dead with a small box in front of her. Unlike the cripples, it's almost assured that they're not working for anyone and they get to keep the money you give.

Though I used to give to cripples a lot, I do it with less and less frequency now. Most Chinese will tell you that the Triads, 200+ year old gangs in the Pearl River delta, put them out and take most of the money. I took it as hearsay till I asked myself how the quadriplegic's and other severely handicapped make it to the top of the very steep steps of the cross-over bridge I mentioned before. On top of that, many of them exacerbate wounds so there's always a bloody appendage to wave around. There are many, many stories of Triads making the cripples what they are. Maybe they were kidnapped, maybe they owed some money. In any case, I have little faith that the money I give will be used by the person I give it to. I still give to them, just much less than before.

In the case of the first two pictures above, this woman spent two days going around Bai Shi Zhou. The first day she was wailing very loudly. Not a fake wail, but one of acute physical pain of pushing herself and her son across the pavement. She was being followed by a bunch of school children, as you can see. The situation itself didn't make a lot of sense. How could her son be really sleeping through all of the commotion? On top of that, she didn't stand out as particularly handicapped besides her dramatic method of transportation. But it sent chills down my spine [and I took a picture], so I gave money. I'm sure she needed it more than I do.

Twice I paid these kids in the bottom picture. The first time only because I took a picture, the second time because one of them refused to leave my table until I paid up. I'd love to give the parents a good whack on the head of the head. As you can see, the gimmick was to have one kid holding a metal ladder with her feet while ringing brass chimes like a trained monkey as another child did acrobatics on the ladder high above her. It really, really angered me seeing this. This week, the same kids are doing some strange variation of cartwheels in the street.

Zombies and The Midway Point

So I just passed my mid-way point in my year contract and I'm back from the [internet] dead. I needed a break from blogging. I needed a break in general. Luckily, I get one with a trip to Thailand, [maybe Laos or Cambodia], and the Philippines in two weeks. Basically, the past month has looked like this: my company told me they wanted me to be a head teacher in March, I accepted. This was coinciding with me getting more active in recruiting and my blog being a de-facto company PR tool. People looking up the company come here. I don't like that one bit. I'll slowly be removing all references to the company so I don't get pulled up at all.

Back to story, things changed pretty quickly. I don't know exactly what happened. The story, as was told to me, was that the guy who I was to replace found out he was going to be replaced and all bets were off. The offer was retracted. I'm still pretty bitter about that. Not that I think the guy should be replaced [especially after hearing his end of things], but that that's the way they wanted to go about replacing him. At the same time I had to retract an job offer they had me make to a retired doctor after offering him a contract. It was deeply embarrassing telling him we wouldn't take him two weeks after offering him a job. My word means a lot to me and I need to be careful who I speak for.

I have a strong suspicion that the person who offered me the job and also told me to offer the guy the contract really didn't know what was going on. In any case, there was bad communication all around.

I was bitter. I still am, but much less so. For awhile there I had a plan. A week after this all came apart I found myself walking to a one-to-one class and I had to stop and say out loud... "what the hell am I doing in China?"

I know how I got here. I know why I came. But I don't know what I'm doing. I'm 25 years old in a non-career job self-studying the hardest language on the planet [not really] without a real plan. And that bugs the hell out of me. As much as I detest the idea of being a businessman, working for my company on that level was really, really appealing for awhile. In an idealized way, it still is.

I'm trying to get my bearings now. It's hard for people like me. I have too many things I'm kinda good at, really interested in, and able to do. I'm so far away from home right now that I feel I can go almost anywhere on the planet... but for what? Why? I need that bigger purpose. I need some ladder I'm climbing to get to some goal.

So I called the Oracle last night. Collectively, I think all my friends back home consist of the Oracle spirit, but this time Jordan Schemmell was the shaman. Take it day, by day, week by week, year by year he says. What do I want right now?

The "plan" I'm putting together right now looks like this: First, I want to stay with Hera. Ya know that Filipino I keep mentioning? Yeah. She's good for me. We're going to burn her factory down and I'm gonna be her arson in shining armor. That keeps me geographically moored to Asia for now. That narrows choices, which is absolutely a good thing right now.

Second, I want that ladder... something to work on that leads to something bigger. I think I might have found it in the form of the University of Hong Kong. They have a two year, two day a week Master's of Education program meant for working teachers. Specifically, they have a Comparative and International Studies specialization. It merges political science and education perfectly. The guy who runs the program is President of the World Council of Comparative Education Societies. In other words, it's a serious program with well-connected staff that's relatively easy to get into with a specialization that I'm really interested in but a degree broad enough to get me into a lot of different places. Hopefully I can strut some of my brain fiber and get an invite to do research with them and work on an Ed.D. for free. Hopefully. Anyway, click on the "the guy" link and tell me that doesn't sound like that kind of research/work/teaching isn't perfect for me.

So that's where I am. Things could change quickly. I'm sure they will in ways I can't even think of right now. That's one thing about being here... you feel like your floating out at sea. Everything is so fluid and dynamic. Everything.

"Tie yourself to the mast, my friend,
and the storm will end."
- Richard Ashcroft