The Transience of All Things

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Carson, my ten year old niece, passed away last night from her leukemia. I'm holding together well enough. I was expecting it. I'm in a weird position though... I'm on vacation while my family is in mourning. I don't know how to handle it, really. Do I stop what I'm doing and just find a riverbank to mourn as well or keep going and deal later. I don't know.

I tried to find a middle ground and did a five hour hike today to an amazing waterfall. I meant to go alone but as serendipity would have it I ran into the same people I planned yesterday to trek out with . There really is a backpacker community. People take care of each other. I was able to talk about it on the hike. It was relieving. I don't want to be a killjoy and be a damper on the vibe in this wonderful community of transients... but so far everyone been cool and had some thoughtful words to share. It's not about the party up here in northern Thailand. There's a deeper something.

That said, I'm looking forward to a good hug when I meet Hera in Manila on Monday.

Rest in peace, Carson. You were loved.