A Telephone Conversation

One of the Chinese staff walked into the teachers lounge and handed me a phone.

Dru: "Big Tree*, hey man, big favor - "
Me: "What's up?"
Dru: "Umm, can you cover my class today? It's 2 - 5. Middle school kids. The lessons are already made up."
Me: ::looks at watch, it's 1:45:: "Sure..."
Dru: "Dude... man... so a few of us went to Scarlet's** last night***... and umm, well, we drank. A lot. Two bottles between four of us. We thought you guys were there and went looking for you****, and then we drank a bottle of tequila..."
Me: "And then..."
Dru: "Well, I don't know exactly what happened next, but there was one guy dancing with four girls and Gary went to go dance with the girls too... and then the guy took off. He came back with like 15 guys."
Me: "Say what?!?"
Dru: "Yeah, like, huge brawl. Four of us against 15 Chinamen. They don't fight very well. Karate chops don't hurt. Gary was like throwing them across the floor. So a couple of them followed us into the bathroom and pulled a knife - "
Me: "SAY WHAT!?"
Dru: "Yeah... just a pocket knife. I took it from him and beat the crap out of him. I have little cuts all up my arm..."
Me: "Dude..."
Dru: "Ohhh, and then the police got called because David and I started arguing in the cab and freaking the driver out. Appearently we were arguing over who had who's back during the knife incident... neither of us remember it. We carried it into the street and I vaquely remember two police vans outside our apartment. Luckily Brian speaks Chinese... but I look like hell and feel worse, you can cover me?"
Me: "You have to cover one of the rich kid morning classes."
Dru: "Deal."

* Chinglish form of my Chinese name
** Scarlet's is a Westernish dance club near Nankai University
*** late night partying, Brian was flying to America for two weeks the next day for work
**** there are many communication failures caused by reliance on stateside cell phone habits (moving, then wondering where people are, calling them to find out) when few of us own cell phones or even know our home numbers

I've never been a drunk, but I can hold my own when appropriate. Until I came here. The long-time expats here drink like feigns. I have no intention of trying to keep up with them when we go out. I learned my lesson early when I got here. They step inside a bar and order a bottle. Deja vu at the next bar. I used to think Izak ordering a pitcher at dinner was excessive.

I remember the man sitting next to me on a flight to L.A. was a defense contractor. He flew around the world setting up U.S. weapons systems. I told him I envied the job and wish I had one that had that kind of mileage to it. I told him one of my favorite parts of travel were the people that you met. There always seemed a certain kinship between vagabonds. He warned me then that the social life of most expats* generally involved way too much drinking. Knowing is half the battle.

* I use expat loosely the way my Dad does... anyone working outside of their home country, not someone who renounces their citizenship.

Tags: Treyopia, China, Dru, Tianjin, clubs, fight